Evangelicalism isn’t for everyone.

We ex-vangelicals tried to have a relationship with Evangelicals’ god, and it didn’t work out. It was a bad relationship for us, and we’re done trying to make it work.

Can’t Evangelicals just accept that and move on?

Unfortunately, the Evangelical god is a malignant narcissist (Deuteronomy 7:21, &c &c) who demands fealty (Exodus 34:14, 1 Kings 11:6, &c) and has convinced them that the whole world needs his “love” (John 3:17, Philippians 2:9‑11, 2 Peter 3:9, &c).

Because he’s the best god there is, you know, and the only true god. (Deuteronomy 6:4, Isaiah 46:9, John 17:3, &c)

And if you don’t have a so-called right relationship with him, “Look what you made me do to you.” (1 Corinthians 5:11, 2 Thessalonians 3:14, Revelation 21:8, &c)

I am not picking and choosing the worst Bible verses to try to make God look bad. Rather, I am explaining how these ideas are actually taught in Evangelical communities. They wouldn’t describe these concepts the same way I have. But they quote the same verses.

He has portrayed us non-Christians as evil and dangerous (because we are dangerous, to him). And he isolates them from us. That’s what an abuser does to his victim, isolates them from outsiders who might support them and lead them away from the abuse.

That’s also why when we fail to validate their belief for them, they feel threatened and blame us for attacking them.

Interestingly, God himself is actually the terror and threat, but those feelings are being displaced onto us.

I admit that this story I’m telling relies heavily on how I myself felt as an Evangelical, but other ex-vangelicals tell much the same story.

So the next time a born-again Christian wishes for you “to know Jesus” or says they’re “praying for God to make himself known” to you, remember that they likely feel terrified and threatened, and that’s why they’re so desperate for you to validate them. The best thing you can do for them is to live your genuine life and refuse to give into their demands.