I recently ran across this song, originally performed by the David Crowder Band, which we used to sing in church all the time. It was a big hit, especially for our kids (thanks to Hillsong Kids).

Every move I make, I make in You.
You make me move, Jesus.
Every breath I take, I breathe in You.

Every step I take, I take in You.
You find my way, Jesus.
Every breath I take, I breathe in You.

Waves of mercy, waves of grace.
Everywhere I look I see your face.
Your love has captured me.
Oh, my God, this love, how can it be?

I was talking to a friend recently about the fundamentalist world in which I lived. I noted how many parts of my experience were not normal. But I never knew how creepy and dysfunctional they were, because they were my normal.

We were engulfed in our relationship with God, so much so that we lost our identity in him. That’s not normal. And it’s not healthy. Rather, it’s a warning sign that you’re in an abusive relationship. In a healthy relationship, each person has their own identity.

We believed that God is there with us, everywhere, never giving us our space, and this was how he “loved” us. That’s not normal, either. It’s not healthy. In a healthy relationship, each person has their own privacy and autonomy.

We were told that we deserved to die, that we deserved hell and eternal torture, that God loved us out of his mercy and grace, that because of this love we can be transformed from sin to glory. That’s also not normal or healthy. In a healthy relationship, neither partner tries to make the other feel worthless or less-than but rather acknowledges and validates their intrinsic value. I don’t need God in order to be worthy of love and belonging. As Brené Brown put it, “I am enough.”